By Winnie Suen, MD, board-certified geriatrician
The short answer: Caring for a parent, spouse or relative is meaningful, and it can also be exhausting. You'll give better care, and stay well yourself, if you plan for breaks, share the load, and get help early rather than waiting until you're worn out.
Signs you may be running on empty
Feeling tired most of the time, or not sleeping well
Losing patience more easily, or feeling sad or on edge
Skipping your own doctor visits, exercise or time with friends
Feeling alone with all the decisions
These are common, and they're a signal to get support, not a sign that you're failing.
Practical ways to lighten the load
Make a list of tasks like rides, meals, bills and medications, and ask specific people for specific help. "Can you drive Mom on Tuesdays?" works better than "Let me know if you can help."
Plan regular breaks. Even a few hours a week matters. Ask about adult day programs and respite care.
Keep one shared list of medications, doctors and upcoming appointments.
Look after your own health. Keep your own checkups, move your body and get some sleep.
Find support. Caregiver support groups, faith communities and local aging services can connect you with resources and people who understand.
When family members disagree
It's common for siblings or relatives to see things differently. A neutral medical opinion can help everyone focus on what the person needs and what matters to them.
How Discover Health can help: a geriatric consultation gives you and your family a clear picture of what's going on and a plan you can follow, which can take a lot of the guesswork off your shoulders. Learn about Geriatric Consultation or call (202) 670-8838.